"No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow." ~Lin Yutang

Monday, October 31, 2011

baby and pregnancy update (gender spoiler alert)

i had my mid-term ultrasound today.  i was wrong, he's not a boy after all.  turns out he never was.  this little baby inside me is following our pattern.  he's a GIRL!  and SHE's awfully cute.

that's the good news.  the other good news is that we had a girls name picked out too... but you won't squeeze that info out of me until she's born.  don't even try.

so then that's two good news, here's the catch.  that little sweet thing has already misplaced her placenta.  (it is hers right?  it's surely not MY misplaced placenta... i got rid of mine almost 30 years ago --and it wasn't misplaced i might add.)  i might have placenta previa.  i get to say "might" because they say that often times it will scootch on over to a better place where it isn't touching my cervix.  currently though, the edge of it is a little above my cervix... so that's no good. 

a little info:  the placenta is the baby's bag o' nutrients.  the "afterbirth".  the placenta attaches itself on the uterine wall via blood vessels.  it attaches itself wherever it chooses with no reasoning.  so if it attaches itself over a hole(like, oh, let's just say a cervix... because it's the only hole you've got in your uterus -if in fact you have a uterus-), when the hole starts to open (or as some might say, dilate) the blood vessels are in turn just pretty much turned on (kinda like a faucet).  like an open wound.  that can't really scab up because it's an internal open wound.  well, until the hole closes... then it "scabs" so to speak... but really it just closes its faucet. 

anyway, like i said before, the placenta might move as the uterus grows...  and that's what we need to pray for.  otherwise i'm in for a c-section.  but, we need to be specific in praying for it to move the right way (as in, not towards, but AWAY FROM my cervix).  otherwise i'm in for a whole lot of bed rest as well as the c-section.  i'm not wanting either of those.  so please pray right and pray hard.  God is powerful and He can move mountains... so certainly He can move my baby's placenta if He wills. 
ready, set, pray!

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

oct 31 post

"this is the day that the lord has made.  let us REJOICE and be glad in it!"

previously, i have a hard time rejoicing on this day.  however, two years ago God gave me another son on THIS PARTICULAR DAY and now i can be reminded that this too is the day that the Lord has made... 

my little starboy isn't a baby.  he isn't even a toddler.  he's a little boy!  he's TWO YEARS OLD! 

tonight we all went out to a planet kid play place and partied it up all by ourselves.  there wasn't another single soul (besides the guy behind the desk) to even talk to.  it was awesome.  little boy starboy was running around like a banchee.  the others weren't far behind.  they climbed, they tumbled, they crawled, they slid, they jumped, they threw and kicked balls, they landed in balls, they... well, maybe that's it.  but they sure had fun. 

happy birthday my sweet gift.  i love you.

(pictures may or may not be added at a later date.  they'd be nice, you have to admit.)

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

gratituesday - the Bible

i know i've posted on how awesome it is to have God's Holy Word right at our fingertips before... but i haven't done a gratituesday post on it... so i am going to today. 
i am everly grateful that God gave us an instruction book, written by Him, on how to live our lives.  when we're struggling with day to day struggles, we can always go to this manual and find the answer.  when we're struggling with parenting, there are hundreds of verses to assist us. 
when we're struggling with work, there are hundreds of verses and stories to aid us.
when we're struggling in relationships, there are hundreds of chapters to give us instruction. 
seriously, there isn't really anything that the Bible doesn't cover.  we just need to go to it and talk with the Author and ... there ya have it!

God is so amazing.  the closer we get in relationship with Him, the easier it is to live on this earth.  not that He'll make life easy for you by giving you things... but He will make life easy for you, by giving you peace.  Trust in Him. 

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Monday, October 24, 2011

cardiologist update

here are my notes from the cardiologist appointment last thursday.  for those of you who are not "up" on my health issues, you can read this and then the linked post within that one for my whole heart story.

Cardiologist questionnaire:

What’s going on?  SVT  most likely AVNRT

Do the meds help?  apparently, since i haven't had an episode since taking them.  Why or why not?  they don't mess with anything other than the extra beat, IF it happens.  How can you tell?  What are they doing?  Block out the AV node extra electrical pulse.  Why did you choose them?  they don't lower the blood pressure.  they won't mess with the baby at all.  OB was on-board.  are there any other options for treatment?  (side effects)

What was my heart rhythm?  Was it the PSVT like Dr. Harris thought?  yes.  but that's a broad term.

How often is it happening and for how long?  At least 3 min. Is that a bearing on your treatment?  yes.  How fast?  200-250

What would happen if it didn’t automatically resolve when I laid down?   it would eventually go back to rhythm, but it would be a miserable 20 or so minutes for me if i didn't pass out before then.

What are your thoughts on this happening during pregnancy?  Is this effecting the baby?  How/why?  What are your thought on this happening not in pregnancy?  Why?
(i forgot to ask those... except for the baby question.  -answered above)

she's recommending me to consider the surgery for this after this pregnancy is over.  it's really pretty serious...

that's all i've got. 
Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Sunday, October 23, 2011

some things i forget. others i remember to forget.

wow, so i haven't gotten around to posting about my cardiologist update i had on thursday.  i also didn't post about parent teacher conferences, and the happenings there around them. 
there's a lot that's been going on, but i've been trying to live.  i've had absolute no gumption lately.  i'm still struggling with a happy heart.  i'm working on living life.
i think that i might get around to these posts... but please don't hold it against me if i lag.  i'm a big lag lately. 

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Saturday, October 22, 2011

saturday adejay art day 5

entitled:  "hige"

making friends

making a friend isn't always as easy as "if you want to make a friend you have to BE a friend."  although it is wise advice.

we went to the pumpkin patch/corn maze a few weeks ago.  i was riding on the hayride next to aleemay.  she chose a seat next to a girl that looked just her age.  i was happy to see that she started including the girl in conversation almost immediately.  they started pointing out different colored pumpkins when the girl said, "by the way, do you want to be friends?" 
i smiled from head to toe... how cute! 
i reminded aleemay she should introduce herself before we left the ride and never saw them again.

i might try that line next time i meet someone nice and friendly...

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Friday, October 21, 2011

saving our appetite

on the way to pick up jones from school, starboy, boo, and i were snacking on some crackers.  we had been grocery shopping and running errands all morning.  boo decided to sit in the WAY back, so i couldn't reach her to give the crackers.  she was whining about not getting any.  i told her to wait until we got to the school and she could unbuckle and come get some.  that appeased her until she saw me get another handful. 
"you're gonna eat them all, mom!"  she complained.
"no, this is my last one," i explained, "i want to save my appetite for lunch."
"i wanna save my appetite for snack!"  she told me.

(way to set priorities, right?!)

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 
don't be bashful, i'd love to hear what you have to say... leave a comment!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

thanks a lot, FINNAGEN!

the other day, tuesday to be exact, i was watching a new friend's two little girls.  she had come to pick them up and i was cleaning up the table from lunch.  there were crumbs galore atop it because of some sandwich eating child mess. 
i wasn't cleaning it like most people.  (or maybe i was.  i don't know.)  i was wiping everything straight to the floor.  the new friend, i'll call her "bridgette" was like, "uh.. anwat... that's going right on the floor!" 
i smiled to her like i had a great secret up my sleeve and then opened the back door to let our living vacuum cleaner in (my great secret up my sleeve). 
good ol' finnagen comes trotten in... sniffs around at the huge mess of crumbs... and then trotts right back out.
nice buddy.  way to make me look like a slob right in front of my new friend!  whose children i had just watched!  ...for several hours!  see if she lets that happen again!

ps.  hot diggity dog!  i FINALLY spelled vacuum the right way the first time without spell check!!!
Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


i've had a gawdawful morning this morning.  i'm feeling really down. 
i keep trying to push it away, but all that comes out is a frown. 
i could use some words of encouragement, but i'd rather not get a call.
because when i feel this way, i don't like to talk... it makes me curl up like a ball.
i'll take my thoughts to jesus, because He's the only one who can help.
but i'm letting out a little bit so you can know to pray for MElp.

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

notice a difference?

i was talking with an old friend the other day and i gave her my blog address so that she could keep up with our life a little better.  she commented that she hoped i blog "real life" because when she reads a blog she wants to laugh a little. 
well, that got me to thinking.  i consider myself a real life person.  i try to be real in all i say and do.  it's 'cause i AM real... but then i started thinking about my blog.  so, i'm gonna try and post a little more... post some more funny life on here (because i have kids... my life is HILARIOUS!)... and the more i post the more of my real life you actually read.  i guess i've been a "real thought" blogger.  you guys get all my thoughts.  but we'll see if i can squeeze in more time for the little things too. 
reader beware:  they won't all be funny!

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

do i HAVE a brain?!

today when i logged onto facebook it informed me that today is one of my best friend's birthday.  i'm pretty good with dates... or i used to.  i like to remember birthdays because it's important.  well, i recalled this persons birthday and thought to myself, "hmph, she must've entered in the wrong birthday on facebook because her birthday is in october." 
oh wait.  it is october!  it's october 18th! 
sometimes i wonder if the thing in my head is worth much.  especially lately!

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

gratituesday - fall foods

with my appetite increasing i can definitely be thankful for all the warm, delicious, aromatic fall food that is abundant. 
i love pumpkin smells...  i love the pretty fall colorful foods...  i love apples!
i have a freshly baked apple crisp sitting on the stove waiting to be eaten.  it's smelling up the house with apples and cinnamon!  i'm also looking forward to dinner tonight: adobe chicken stew.  it's aromatic as well, smelling of onions and garlic mostly, but then scented some more with cinnamon, nutmeg, and coves on top!
thank you, God, for making the seasons so beautiful, but also for fall... where food is in abundance because harvest has been in progress!

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

jones and his new friend

jones came home from school yesterday ALL EXCITED about his new friend.  i guess the kindergartners do some projects or something with a first grade class.  jones said he couldn't find aleemay, because she was lost out at recess, so he found a big new friend.  i thought that the adjective "big" was because he was a 1st grader... until all the other references to the boy was "the fat boy". 
thankfully all he said about him was adoring, so i know he wasn't trying to be mean... but we had a nice talk with him about weight and name calling. 

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Monday, October 17, 2011

i'm SO hungry!!! (menu)

my baby has really grown an appetite lately.  i'm excited to see if he's going to be a boy or a girl... but that's not for another week.  two weeks actually. 
anyway, even with my appetite, i had a really difficult time finding ideas for my menu.  i guess i didn't really have a hard time finding IDEAS, just a hard time DECIDING.  following this post i will link a few idea blogs that i've found helpful.

here's my menu (with lots of new recipes to try):
idea links:

wow.  look at all those recipes!  go me!!!  (well, we'll see if i'm really cheering myself on after grocery shopping!)

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

trying to make my menu

when i'm reaching for ideas and can't come up with any good ones on my own, i start asking the kids.  here's a good reason why i don't do it first:
boo was my little idea helper tonight. 
me:  what do YOU like best for dinner?
her:  um.  hot diggity dogs and corn dogs.
me:  yuck.  (that was a thought.  not a statement.)  that's what we have at lunch time for you.  what do you like for supper?
her:  suckers!

okie dokie... back to square one.
Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Saturday, October 15, 2011

saturday adejay artday 4

entitled "red riding hood"

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

pregnancy and infant loss rememberance day

if i could write any one thought about pregnancy loss/miscarriages/stillbirths, it would be pretty much word for word THIS POST (what if we talked @ beautifully chaotic)... but i already found someone else did for me.  please take the time to click over there and read it.  whether or not you are a 1 in 4, it's applicable and appropriate. 
so my second thought is to tell my story.  so following, if you wish to read, is my first birth story, to my first born, my first son: Theron Tyler.
i got married on august 8 of 2003.  we didn't have a honeymoon, but at the end of august our employers took us (and the rest of the employees) on an employee ride.  -otter pop and i were both employed at a harley-davidson dealership under the best bosses in the whole world, you see.  they supplied the bikes, the gas, the food, the lodging... we just had to show up!  (and we did).  it was awesome!  it was a great honeymoon plan b.  that's where and when our first baby was made. 
i missed my next period.  and my next one.  but i was just married and i was too naive to think that i could actually BE pregnant.  but after missing the third one (almost around this same time of year 8 years ago), i decided that maybe i should take a pregnancy test because i guess it COULD be...  and it declared that i was, in fact pregnant.  i almost wanted to take another one, because it just was almost unreal to me that i could be carrying a baby inside me.  a real, live, baby!  INSIDE me! 
well, we announced to everyone we saw that i was pregnant.  we went in to see the OB/GYN and saw our little jumping bean with sprouts for arms and legs... his little heart was pumping and sure enough, he was measuring out just perfect for my 3 missed periods = 12 weeks. 
i had had NO symptoms (as in, no morning sickness) and had NO idea... but once i started reading through the "what to expect when you're expecting" book... i had all the others!  my husband and i were overjoyed with the news and seriously (SERIOUSLY) didn't not tell anyone.  everyone knew!  everyone was so excited with us.  it was SO EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
adejay's birthday is nov. 13, and it was on a wednesday.  she turned 5.  i planned a great big rollerskating birthday party and invited her whole class for that saturday.  it was a big and stressful day.  lots of running around and forgetting important details and such things that go with a big birthday party.  it was a success, but i didn't feel awesome that day.  i wasn't hungry, i was rather grumpy, and at the end of the day when i saw a few spots of blood in my underwear i wasn't really that surprised.  i thought it was from the stress of the day, so i wasn't alarmed at all.  i hadn't ever been pregnant before, so i didn't know or expect anything... except that i would have a baby born to me on or around april 21, 2004. 
the next day there were a few more spots.  i still just ignored them, but i told my hubs and he said that i should call the doctor.  since it was sunday, i put it off until the later part of the day (knowing i wouldn't be able to get ahold of anyone over the weekend), but then decided to just leave a message that afternoon.  when i heard the answering service i realized that since people have babies every day of the week that i could actually talk to someone... so that was nice.  i pushed the right extensions and reached a message tone.  i left my message and still assumed that i wouldn't get to talk to anyone until tomorrow, monday.  they probably screened the messages and only called back the "real emergencies".  i was pleasantly surprised when shortly thereafter a nurse called me back.  i told her about the spots and she asked my due date and a few more questions.  she then reassured me that light bleeding or spotting was completely normal for some women and not to be alarmed unless there was heavy bleeding. 
phew.  so that eased my mind... or my husbands, rather, since i'd never been pregnant before and she had said herself not to worry and "not to be alarmed". 
the next morning i woke up to a panty-full of blood.  i screamed out for otter to come quick.  my mother-in-law was up from reno, nv, staying with us for the weekend -for adejay's birthday celebration.  she was supposed to leave that day.  he asked what the dr. had said yesterday, but i ensured him that his was no "spotting" nor was it "light bleeding".  he said i should go in to the dr's office.  i was naive enough to argue with him that they weren't even open yet, but he sent me there anyway.  sure enough, they weren't open until 9 (i think), so i moseyed on over to the hospital where my mom worked next to the dr's office and went to hang out with my mom until 9.  she asked a few questions about my condition, but kept her nurse's face on.  it wasn't until a co-worker of hers came in and cracked her nurse's face and gave me her condolences that i realized that maybe something might be more than wrong.  i asked my mom, why she gave condolences and then my mom told me her suspicions.  she said that since i was 14 weeks along, it was hard to assume the worst... but "bleeding is never good." 
i rushed over to the dr's office while calling my mr. love-of-my-life to tell him my mom's suspicions and ask him to be with me.  (he was on his way).  when we (my mom came with me) to the office they were not only expecting me, we were rushed into a ultrasound room and the dr. was promptly in rubbing cold goo over my stomach trying to find that little heartbeat we had heard just 2 weeks ago.  she couldn't find it.  so she got out the ultrasound thingy and started looking that way.  she goo'd me up and down and side to side, but by that time, i could see the little jumping bean... not nearly as little, but also not jumping.  i knew.  she kept trying a different angle to see his heart beating, but he wasn't even moving.  i knew.  she tried to get a "clearer ultrasound reading" by doing it vaginally... but it didn't show anything different.  she looked into my eyes and said, "i'll go see if someone can help me." and quickly exited the room. 
i started sobbing.  i couldn't believe it.  why would that cute little jumping bean stop jumping?!  why would something so precious and sweet and joyous just stop being??? 
my mom started wiping tears away.  she's not a cryer.  she knew too.  then my knight in shining armor came to my side.  my mom told him, "i'm really sorry."  gave him a hug, and asked if she could leave us alone.  mr. sweets had a wild look of confusion in his eyes and asked why and looked at me sobbing and just didn't understand.  i was trying to tell him, but all i could muster out was, "waaaa (breath) waaaaa (breath) waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."  then the dr. came in with another dr. and my mom slipped out. 
the second dr. did much the same that the first one did... and i finally said, "i think it's not beating.  it's not even moving."  they both stopped and looked at me and the first doctor said, "i'm really sorry.  i tried really hard.  i was sure it was there.  we'll leave you two alone for a little bit to be with each other.  if you need me, i'll be right out here.  i'll be back in a little bit to answer questions you might have... but just so you know, there might not be an answer to the question you'll want to ask most."

otter pop and i melted into a puddle of tears.  we cried and cried and cried and cried.  we took turns holding each other, but mostly he was holding me.  i just couldn't even think i was so heartbroken. 

the dr. returned and gave us the run down.  she gave us a bunch of literature and pamphlets.  she told us that most likely we wouldn't know why, but after the d&c they could run tests and maybe find out a little more. 
i asked if there was another way, other than d&c to end this trauma.  she explained that some people deliver them at home, but since i was 14 weeks along, she didn't recommend it.  i asked what would happen and she explained some more of the d&c... she didn't understand that i didn't want a d&c and i didn't want to push the issue... (better to ask for forgiveness than permission sometimes!)  she said she could insert some "sea weed" of some sort to help my cervix ripen up and take the d&c easier, but from what she could tell my body was preparing itself naturally very well. 
i had to get my rh- shot and then we left.  we both drove home separately because we had two vehicles.  hubs swung by the harley shop to tell them the news and get the rest of the day off.  i went home and cried some more.  when he arrived home he told me that we were going for a drive. 
nana had taken adejay for the day and would take care of things regarding adejay while we mourned.  otter pop took me for a drive.  we drove all day long.  we drove to the eastern part of the state, with no particular goal other than to drive.  my husband and i do that well.  we like to drive and think and talk...  so we did. 
on our way home i started having cramps.  really bad cramps.  i called my mom and she asked if we were going to go to the hospital for the d&c.  i told her no way, started crying again, and gave the phone to otter pop to get my answers out of her.  he asked her what i could take for the pain... and so i started heavily medicating myself with ibuprofen and tylenol.  nothing was helping... until i cried myself to sleep in the passenger seat... 
but the cramps kept returning and waking me up.  we got home and went to bed, but i kept having cramps all night long.  the next morning i called in sick for work.  otter pop went but said he'd be back at lunch to check on me. 
all morning long it felt like i had the worst case of diarrhea imaginable.  2 minutes wouldn't pass before i was running to the toilet, only to cramp and scream in pain there.  oh it hurt.  and nothing was helping.  the tylenol and ibuprofen did NOTHING.  i felt like dying along with my baby. 
during the night as i was rushing to the bathroom to relieve my cramps i thought about my baby.  i thought about how sad i was that i never got to see it.  i didn't get to know if it were a girl or boy.  i didn't even get to HOLD it.  my convictions to not have a d&c were further dug into me that if i delivered this baby at home, at least i would be able to SEE and HOLD and decipher its gender!  with every contraction i had, i kept those thoughts in the back of my head...  this pain was a good thing...  i could do this...
at about 10am there was a knock at the door.  i wanted to ignore it.  well, i did several times, but it wouldn't stop knocking.  so, grudgingly, i decided i'd get up and see who it was that was being so persistent.  it was my best friend, rachelle.  she had some cookies with her.  (i love that girl!)  the cookies didn't look good and i really didn't want to see her, but i let her in.  we sat down on the couch to talk.  i wiped away all my emotion and tried to act strong... because that's what i do. 
we sat and chatted for an hour (i kept having to leave for the bathroom and secretly i thought she might get the idea that i wasn't feeling like having a guest over, but she never did.)  at about 11:15 the cramps started getting severe.  yeah, i guess that they weren't so bad before.  i took a bathroom break from rachelle that lasted about 15-20 minutes and she decided to check on me.  i was sitting on the toilet pretty much dying.  it hurt so bad.  nothing was helping.  not that i knew anything to do to help them... i was just sitting there... swaying... crying... cramping... dying. 
she got me a hot rag for my face and neck.  she said i should get in the shower.  i said i couldn't move.  she asked what she should do and i asked what i should do.  we both were ... like, 21 ... never done this before... never known anyone that had done this... we might as well have been boys! 
just at that point, my husband walked in the bathroom with us.  i started crying again.  i mean really crying.  i told him how bad it hurt and that i didn't know what to do.  he told me that i should go to the hospital.  i told him that i couldn't MOVE.  he and rachelle left me alone for a little bit. 
i started to "poop" out some big clots of blood.  i yelled to them.  i guess my love had called my mom to see what should be done.  i guess rachelle had called her mom to see what should be done.  rachelle came in and told me that i was having the baby.  otter pop came in with a bottle of prescription pain pills that a friend had given him for me.  i took one (or two, or three, i don't remember).  then i felt the biggest cramp yet... and the urge to push like never before.  i can't describe in any language how painful that was!  it hurt beyond human pain.  it hurt in every part of my body (but mostly my privates).  my hair even started to curl in pain!!!  and then shortly after noon the baby passed through me.  i heard him plop into the already bloody toilet water.  ahhhhh.  sigh.  "i'm better." i said.  it's all done. 
rachelle rushed me into the shower and closed the curtain.  i told her i couldn't stand up and she told me to just sit there and turn around.  "haven't you ever sat down in the shower before?!" she asked.  "no," i replied... "but i think i'm going to start!"  i sat there and relaxed as i heard them quietly discussing things in the outer room. 
"they said to keep the baby and all the large clots of blood to be tested."  i shouted out.  "but i want to see the baby.  i want to at least see it." 
"no," my sweet husband said, "what am i supposed to put it in?!" 
"that tupperware with a lid i had sitting in the sink."  i replied.  "can i please see?!"
and he left. 
rachelle helped to get me dressed and ready and then we went to the dr's office to meet otter pop and the baby.  i was rushed into a room to wait patiently for the dr.  otter pop hadn't shown up yet.  i wondered what was going on, but kept waiting patiently for the dr. 
FINALLY he came in and checked me out.  he told me he was anxious to see the results of the tests on the baby and to make sure i had passed it all, but from what he could tell, i looked amazing.  he said he couldn't believe i would want to go through that.  he said that what i had done was crazy painful that technically it was a complete delivery with a cervix and uterus that had pretty much no time to ripen and ready itself.  i felt fierce. 
so where was otter pop and that little precious baby we'd lost?  well, i didn't find this out until later, but he took his first son out to the edge of the canyon where we rode dirt bikes and was sitting there with him... examining him (yes, it was a boy)... crying over him... spending the only time he'd get with his first son. 
i was kinda mad at him for robbing me of the only opportunity i had to see, hold, and love on my son... but after i talked to him and got every detail out that i wanted to know... i was happy that at least one of us got some time with him. 
we named him.  i kept some sentimental details and have saved them.  we have a picture from the first ultrasound.  i saved the newspaper from that day.  i went back to the hospital and saved the container that we brought him in (against their wishes).  i had received a "you're pregnant" gift that i saved.  that's all i had... so i saved as much as i could. 

this is the story of Theron Tyler 11-19-03. 

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

gratituesday on wednesday - patience

i'm thankful for patience today (and yesterday too). 

i'm extremely thankful for kids who are patient with me, a husband who is patient with me, and mostly for a Father in heaven who patiently watches me grow.  they all give me chance after chance after chance to get things right... and then they're patient some more while i finally get it (some times). 

i pray that we all will be patient with each other and give grace... because no one is perfect. 

i have a buddy (otter pop's cousin's kid) who wrote on his facebook wall something along the lines of, "how come i'm always waiting on people?!"  my immediate response was, "'cause you're patient!"  there are a lot of people in society these days who won't wait, they get edgy in traffic, they get mad in lines, and they just can't WAIT!  we need to appreciate the virtue of patience and practice it with a happy heart every chance we get.

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Saturday, October 8, 2011

saturday adejay artday 3

entitled "American Eagle"
date unknown (2011)

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Friday, October 7, 2011

first things first this friday:

did you know that on 10/15 it will be pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day?
i didn't! 
i didn't know there WAS such a thing.  when i went through the most difficult and painful time of my life (almost 8 years ago) i felt so alone.  i didn't know anyone who had gone through anything similar.  after my loss, i read the statistics in miscarriages and so i realized that 1 in ever 4 women would experience one [at least]... but no one really said anything about it... or did anything about it publicly... 
since then, i have had many many friends and loved ones who have lost precious babies to miscarriages, a few to still births, and one from SIDS.  i don't know if there is anything more painful or more DIFFICULT! 

a baby lost is something that never can be found... until heaven.  the pain is indescribable.  not only the physical pain but the emotional pain that accompanies the loss is seriously unbearable.  lots of times there isn't a chance to hold that baby, or even see him (or her)... there isn't the chance --or the chance is stunted-- to watch him grow, teach him about life, listen to him laugh and observe the world around him... 
having a support system of wonderful friends and/or family who have experienced the same kind of loss makes it so much lighter of a load.  the help that can be given is sometimes so beneficial in helping to work through the pain.  i wish i would've had some.  if you have the knowledge that someday you'll get to meet that baby, and see him again in heaven, you have the biggest comfort of all... but until heaven you don't have much.  no happy memories. 
so recently i discovered the sweetest gesture to help you remember your baby (my baby) and acknowledge the life that was lost...
i, randomly, started following a new blog this last week, www.kitchenandkids.com, which IS pretty random, because i hardly do that.  but she/the new blog introduced me to pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day.  she has a friend, Melissa at Beautifully Chaotic, who has been inspired by her own losses to do something magnificent to honor her two precious little ones and all of those little ones out there that have been lost. she will be putting together a short video documentary to honor those lost babies.  she will also be doing a balloon release on the video with the babies names on balloons.
here's an invitation from her:
"I would love for you to go over to Beautifully Chaotic and see what Melissa has planned. You can also include your baby as well if you wish. Melissa will be collecting names until October 8th at midnight. You can either go to her site to leave your baby’s name and the date you associate with their passing, or you can simply do it here. If you aren’t comfortable leaving a comment, you can use Melissa’s contact form or my contact form to have your baby’s name included.
Remember – You are not alone!"

isn't that just so sweet?!  sometimes the hardest part of loosing a little one is the pain in doing it alone or unknown.  how many kids do you have?  well, i have 5 precious ones here with me, 1 in eutero, and 1 in heaven!  do you have a baby you'd like to acknowledge?  i do:
Theron Tyler (and that's not a code name) was delivered to me 11-19-03... and heaven got him a few days before...  he was perfect and sweet and never did any wrong...  the best baby ever! 
Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

we're moving!

well, we aren't perse... but the babe inside is!!!!  FINALLY (as in today) i'm feeling a little person inside me movin' around.  all my other little insiders were felt earlier.  much much earlier.  (as early as 12 1/2 weeks but 14ish for most of them). 
i was getting a bit anxious about not feeling movement yet, but the PA reassured me yesterday at my 17 week appointment yesterday that some moms don't start feeling the baby moving around until 19 or 20 weeks!  wowser. 
i knew that the baby has been growing nicely since i've had to move into maternity clothes and i'm REALLY showing now... as opposed to me being fat and people confusing that for showing.  :(  i can feel my uterus pushing my guts up and out and my lower abdomen out ...even with a little blubber on top of it...
so, this is exciting.  i love feeling the movement of the little baby inside.  i know it really gets annoying later in pregnancy with my little soccer star / gymnasts infants-in-eutero, but i still love the feeling.  please keep praying for me and my little one with a safe, happy, healthy pregnancy and delivery and baby.
i don't know if i have given an update on my heart.  i'm taking the medication once/day and haven't had any episodes since.  i don't know if it's working or if i just haven't had one... because they're random anyway.  so, i see the cardiologist on the 20th and i guess i'll learn more then.  if not, then i'm going to have to change cardiologists!
Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

gratituesday -- our local church

WE make up the church.  Christ's church is His body of believers.   that's me.  i'm one of those.

our little body of believers that we worship with are doing a study on family.  i suppose it's not really a study as much as it is an emphasis.  our pastor has been lead to do a sermon series on God's purpose for family. 

i am so very grateful for a church body that believes in His Word.  one that will stand up when things are wrong and go to the Truth to fix it.  there is a problem with the way families are working these days.  it's time for us to fix them.
i am soooooo thankful that we have a pastor that feels God's leading and then dives in.
i am ever so appreciative for a family of believers who are intent on listening to the Truth and not running and hiding from it.

there is a lot of room for improvement, as we are all sinners, but i'm thankful for what we do have in Him.

on another similar but different note:  have you gone to see the movie "courageous"?  i recommend it.  it was a great movie.  funny and sad.  very moving.  very convicting.  very truth-telling. 

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Monday, October 3, 2011

are you being courageous?

are you being the person God called you to be?  as a believer?  as a child?  as a parent?  as a spouse?  as... who you are? 
it takes courage.
i challenge you to dig into scripture.  through the Bible (God's holy word) find out who it is God's calling you to be.  if you know who... then i challenge you to dig further into the Bible and find out if you're playing the role as Christ would. 
before you take this challenge i want to forewarn you... it'll take courage.  it won't be easy. 

are you believing as Christ called us to believe?  (there's a lot to it)
are you living like God wants a child to live?  (there's a WHOLE lot to it)
are you parenting as God commands?  are you honoring God in your relationship with your spouse?  fulfilling the duties He has given you?  (the Bible is full of instruction)

you have been equiped with courage.  are you going to use it? 


Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  !!!!!!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

dinner anyone???

last week sucked without a menu.  it didn't actually suck.  we ate every night.  and we enjoyed our meals.  i've just grown accustomed to having a menu up on our fridge so i know what to get out in the morning and what to prep for come about 3pm.  but thankfully i had a friend that really pulled through for me though and gave me a few ideas... :)  (which i wrote down in place of a menu... because that's a lot different...)  and then i finished off the week with a concoction.  --i haven't done that in a LOOOOOONNNNNGGGG time!  but it wasn't bad.  i thought it was pretty good... but when i asked if i should do it again i didn't get a loud "heck yeah!"  (or a quiet one either).  although aleemay, myself, and starboy all had healthy 2nd portions... 
just for reference, i'll tell you what was in it and why it wasn't a hit:  ground beef. red curry lentil soup (that TOTALLY wasn't red!). black beans. corn. chili powder, cumin, cayenne pepper, garlic salt, minced onion. served with fritos and/or chili cheese fritos, mexican blend shredded cheese, and sour cream.
why it wasn't a hit?  the soup.  it has a very unique flavor.
here's what i've come up with for this week:
  • pulled pork sandwiches with this scrumdiddlyumptious-looking recipe of baked beans that i found this last week, cole slaw, and corn on the cob... or not on the cob... aleemay lost her two bottom teeth and they all found out that they like it cut off just as well.  (which is pretty much corn.  so?)
  • blt's ---because we haven't had any this year and it's one of me and my hubs MOST FAVORITE fresh yummy meals.  with french fries.
  • thai chicken and noodle salad with fried rice... that's homemade... because i know how now!  (and it's easy!!!)
  • you know that hamburger stroganoff recipe i posted several several weeks back?  the one that was a hamburger helper stroganoff copycat... i never made it!  so i will this week and i'll still serve it with green beans too.  AND we'll enjoy it!  so there.
  • roasted chicken with these carrots i saw being made on america's test kitchen last week, and mashed potatoes.  ---and speaking of america's test kitchen... i really like that show!  it's awesome!!!  i LOVE the recipes [well, most of 'em] and the hints and mostly the reasoning they give behind what they do.  i like reasons.  they help!  i hope that link gets you to the right site.  you have to register to actually see the recipe though i think.
  • double layer tacos (or tacos wearing protection, if you will), with refried beans and rice.  (note:  this is the rice i'll have to use to fry up for that thai chicken night.)
  • meatloaf with that awesome potato salad that is like no other potato salad you've had.  because it's good. (that is unless you've had this salad before... then it'll be remarkably similar.)  oh.  and more green beans.  we like 'em and they're healthy... what can i say???
    • and sorry again about that link.  it's the lamest post i've ever written.  i'll make it better after i make the salad this time.  add pictures... add the actual recipe... etc.

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

Saturday, October 1, 2011

saturday adejay artday 2

this isn't really supposed to be a once/month post, but since i lost my camera, i couldn't take a picture of her selected artwork for the past month.  and then i'll apologize ahead of time for the quality of this picture.  it's the rough draft, kinda.  she drew another that was not on lined paper and a lot larger and better... but her name was grafted at the bottom, so i suggested we just use this one.
anyway here is her this week's piece:
the return of the sun (9/28/11)

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."