"No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow." ~Lin Yutang

Friday, November 4, 2011

speaking of dynamite... i can sure light up a room!

now this is a real life anwat post!  in fact, after it happened i had to call someone and get some info... and i was too proud to admit what had happened.  i was just too embarrassed at my stupidity.  here.  i'll just tell you what happened. 
it started with a shower and doing my doll boo's hair.  it's finally getting long enough that not only does it need done (because it's been that way for a couple months now) but now it's even long enough to DO it!  yeah!  yeah for growing hair!  yeah boo!!!!!

so, this totally could've been a hair post.  and that's why these photos were taken... so, maybe they'll make a hair post too... but not today.  those are on wednesday.  and very infrequently, if you hadn't noticed.
anyway, the cute little 3-1/2 year old was so precious that i thought i'd pose her and take a few pictures that weren't focused on her hair and where i could position her in the poses that I think are cute and would hang well on a wall.  so, i looked around and decided the fireplace would make a great backdrop.  but, it'd make an even better backdrop if it were on.  so, i decided to light it.

i should back up and say that we've been having trouble with our furnace.  well, if we don't use it, the pilot light goes out.  our garage is quite a pile-up... so lighting the pilot isn't as easy as it should be.  the weather has been warm and cool and just a little cold and then warm again.  we've only turned the heat on once this fall (when we discovered the problem) and only for a day, but then it warmed back up.  yesterday it was cool enough that the heater should be on, but the pilot had gone out again.  since the mr. is in pennsylvania, i just decided we could beef it for a night.  i put our extra winter blankets on all our beds and we were fine.  i had THOUGHT about our fire place last night... but it's caused us problems (ex. the smoke alarm or co2 detector goes off every time we light it and/or it gives me a headache after about 10 minutes) ever since we moved in.  that and since we've always had little hands (and little brains) living with us, we just figured it's safest to not use the fireplace. 
anyway... all that to just add a little substance to the story i guess.  because i wasn't going to light the fireplace for heat.  just for looks.  and just for the picture.  so no biggie. 
well, otter pop had to buy one of those fancy lighters with a long bendy lighter-stick-thingamajig to light the pilot back then, so i decided that lighting the fireplace would be a good chance for me to get to use it.  it looked cool!  (if my word description doesn't work for you, that link should show you what i'm talking about.)
i turned on the gas just a little and put the long bendy-thing down by the fake logs.  (that could totally be a line of a joke, but i'll resist.)  i pushed the "you should start" button but nothing happened.  (that could too.)  anyway, i tried again and again.  hmph.  i guess i'll have to turn the gas up.  so i did a little and tried again and to no fire.  so, i pumped up the gas all the way and then decided that maybe it'd be "bright" to light the long bendy-thingy before i stick it by the fake logs.  so i push all the right buttons and click the "you should start" button and... BOOM! 
the fire place was ablaze.
and so was my face.
and hair.
and seriously, i flew back about five feet without any effort on this big pregnant body.  i landed a few feet in front of my little kids waiting [in terror now] for their picture to be taken. 
i put my hands up to my face and felt singed eyebrow hairs.  i rolled my eyes at my complete stupidity.  oh my gosh... how dumb could i be?!  i turned the gas way back down and got the fire looking about normal and then turned to the kids.  boo had this look of amazement on her face and she wouldn't stop looking at my eyebrows (or what i thought was my eyebrows).  i asked her if i looked silly and she nodded, her eyes not leaving my face.
it was about then the smoke detectors went off.  if you want to make total chaos in a totally chaotic environment, throw in a high pitched beep that no one can ignore!  i opened the doors and the close windows and it shortly turned off.  boo had ran to the hallway (the LOUDEST place possible) to get away from the noise.  starboy had just somehow hidden under the great big 50 lb. love sac. 
i gathered them back to reassure them that everything was ok.  i closed the fireplace and tried to get boo into a posing position.  she kept telling me to please get away from the fire so it didn't burn me up again.  :(  i told her it was all ok now.  i swept the ashes away and sat there to show her.  she just wouldn't have it. 
when i finally got her in front of the place, she looked cute and perfect except the look of terror on her face... and the fact that she couldn't TURN her face from the fire to look at the camera!  and then when we were just so close (well, not any closer than i just described)... the smoke detector went off again and this time boo went up in tears!  i chased her with my hands over her hands over her ears and told her to sit in the kitchen instead of the hallway.  i also told starboy to follow her.  and i also gave up on the photo session.  turned the gas off, put all the fire equipment up, and decided to go see what was so eye-catching about my disastrous face. 
this is what i found:

yep.  it wasn't just the eyebrows.  apparently my eyebrows must've been highly overgrown and shaggy, because they don't look harmed hardly at all! 

i hadn't done my hair yet, and since i had braided it yesterday it had a million fly-aways that decided to just burn away.  this picture was taken after i had thoroughly patted away all the singed hairs that were just floating above my head.
yeah.  this is a real story.  this is the real me.  you can tell because i'm not even fake enough to smile at the camera when i'm really just not feeling the smile!

Try to remember, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."


Jen said...

Oh my gosh, I'm laughing so hard I almost peed my pants! It was very well written and I could picture it like a Griswold moment. Oh my, I'm laughing so hard. I'm sorry, it's not very nice to laugh but that was just too funny. Thanks, I needed a good laugh. It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there that has moments like these!

Kara said...

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a blog post. I literally laughed so hard I cried AND snorted. Thank you for sharing this with the blog world. You're awesome! (and I could totally see myself doing the exact same thing)

Nicnic said...

looking good! I love that I could see the after haircut though, because it looks fine now! :) the before pictures are AWESOME! Glad I could be of service while you got your hair fixed :)

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, [anwat]! That is a scary scary story! Look how close you came to being burned to death! That is so scary!!! lylyly